Coup de clavier poster sur instagram au sujet de mon service volontaire européen (SVE/EVS, Erasmus+) dans la nuit du 30 au 31 aoû, puis effacé au réveil parce que tout le staff est abonné à mon compte.
Disconnecting mind, time and space. Elaborating strategies… .Live like I’m already gone .Ignore any pressure to waste more of my time and energy for people comfort and feelings about themselves .Fake or none communication (but…) .Don’t let them think I’m their black/africain/exotic free friend .Saying it’s ok to say shit about me so people feel good and I’m not forced to play their game .Avoid .Stop #volunteering for good after this .Still not saying thank you for receiving a book about Africain written by white French dudes as a birthday gift, another wtf in the already long list .Stop getting involved and then stuck in places where I feel like shit .In the future, directly leave when subordonate to people who think that exploitation is collaboration or believe that they make you a favor while you have to fight to work for them for free and doing something you don’t want .Not struggling to work for free anymore .Runaway from people who think that small talk, avoiding conflicts and ignoring issues fix anything more then their self-comfort .Not accepting when formally asked to fake so they can invent that we’re friends or something and do more wtf things .Stay away and let them enjoy their saviorist complex .Being busy enough even if I don’t like what I’m doing because it’s still better than feeling this trap and mistake .Punch somebody before leaving .Putting my headphones every time the roomates make homophobie/lesbophobic/transphobic/sexist comments, even on my friends .Not inviting any friend at « my » place but join them instead, far away .Don’t give a fuck when people get upset when I don’t play my role of exotic accessory/entertainment because I went to see friends or/and do useful/meaningful things .Never work for free for paid privileged people again .Never comply with demands to be less, to think less, to erase perspectives, ambitions, meaning .Not giving any space to white/male/straightsplaining .Not letting guys telling me I’m stupid at any occasion .One year is too much .Again, stop volunteering for good after 11 years, aftet this wtf plan .Keep on looking more at acts than words . … I guess I can learn something from all that shit if I really try hard. #evs #insomnia #makingusefullist